A letter to Grayson

It is so hard to believe that one year has gone by already. Where does the time go? Words cannot express how much I love you little boy. There are so many wonderful things about your personality that make you such a special person.

I cannot explain the fear that I felt when I saw you for the first time- I could tell something was wrong. They whisked you from me and over to a little table in the corner of the delivery room, and then before I knew it whisked you down to the NICU. A few hours later I was able to hold you for the first time, and from the moment I held you in my arms, struggling to get your breaths regulated, I knew you were a spirited individual. You are such a fighter, even when I wish you weren't (Like when we are trying to change your diaper or clothe you). You are stubborn and strong-willed, just like momma- you are my child, of this I have no doubt.

You have always been such a happy child. I have never seen any baby behave as gleefully as you do. your smiles are contagious, everywhere we go you brighten the lives of family, friends and strangers alike.

You are so loving. My favorite moments are when you crawl into my arms and nestle into me- though those moments are brief, as you are quick to get back to whatever activity you were doing, they are small little highlights that brighten any day.

You have touched so many lives, and you have only been with us for one year. Your extended family adores you, we can all spend hours just watching you play. You love being chased around the room, you find that hilarious, and you love cars more than any other little boy I have ever met. You love playing with toy cars, driving in the car, watching cars drive by be it on your walks with Mom and Dad or from the windows in our home. You love turning other inanimate objects into cars. If you are reading a book that even has a small car in the background of the illustration you point to it and make your infamous car noises.

You love music, and love to dance. Your favorite shows have music in them, if there is no music you are not interested. When we ride in the car together you try to sing with me as we listen to my favorite songs.

You are more than I ever expected, more than I ever deserved. I hope that I can continue to learn and grow as you do, to be the best mom for you I possibly can. Be patient with me, I am trying my best to do everything I can to make you happy, to help you feel safe and secure, to help you know that you are loved and wanted and needed.

I know you are going to be a great big brother, in that I have no doubt. I am so happy that I can provide you with a sibling, someone to get in trouble with, to share joys and heartaches with, to live and learn with. Some of my favorite memories are with my siblings, we have had such a special bond, and I hope that you can have the same quality of relationship with your siblings.

Most importantly, I want you to know that you are mine, that I will always love you, but that I share you with someone most important. I know that you are a child of God, you are the sweetest, most good-natured child, I know you are a gift to me from him. I thank him everyday that you came into my life, I can't remember life without you- you are so dear to me. I look forward to more smiles, laughter and joy in our home every day all because of you, my dear sweet Grayson.

Love,

Mama

Copycat Le Nonne Lemon Chicken

We are so proud of how this turned out, pretty darn near perfect. The recipe below includes the alterations I would make to make it even better (less butter and pound the chicken out just a tad thinner) but other than that I think we would be good competition.

Here is the recipe for the sauce first:

1/2 stick butter
3 T White Cooking Wine
1 T Capers
1 t. Caper sauce (just some of the sauce right out of the caper bottle)
Juice from two lemons (really get in there, you need every drop)

For the chicken, just pound out a chicken breast until it is about 1/8 inch thick (get it really really flat!) Then coat that with some flour. I used a frying pan and put enough oil in there just to coat the entire pan (about 3 Tablespoons) and heated that over medium heat. Once the oil was hot, I put the chicken breasts in. Do not flip until it looks completely white even from the top, that way you get a nice sear on the chicken. Then cook on the other side until it starts to develop a brown coating.

After the chicken was done, I simply put it in a serving bowl and dumped the sauce over it like you see in the photos above. That way the sauce had a little time to soak into the chicken while I seared the potatoes. I used the remaining oil to give them the brown sear, but I pretty much had them already cooked with the broccoli (I just tossed those in some water and let them boil together until they were soft, then I gave the potatoes a sear with the oil and added some salt, pepper and rosemary to them. With the broccoli, I just sprinkled a little salt on them and served).

Super easy, I was impressed, not too hard at all, and a big pay off for your taste buds. My next goal is to copycat the Pear Pasta....I will let you know if I succeed.

Lemon chickenpea noodle soup recipe

Okay so I made this dish up tonight, like I frequently do, and liked it so much I decided I needed to save the recipe, and if I am going to take the time to type it up, might as well share, right? So i made this dish without chicken but you could totally add it if you wanted, or substitute it for the chickpeas I used:

LEMON CHICKENPEA NOODLE SOUP

4 potatoes peeled and chopped into bite size pieces
5 carrots, chopped into bite size pieces
4 stalks of celery, chopped
1 yellow onion, finely chopped
8 cups chicken broth (could substitute veggie if you want a vegetarian dish)
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp sage
1 bay leaf
1 lemon, quartered

Toss all of the above into a large pan, bring to a boil. Then add the following:

1 can chickpeas (garbanzo beans)
1 cup small noodles (I used small shells, but you could use whatever you wanted, rice would also be good if you had no noodles on hand)

Cook until noodles are soft, then add salt and pepper to taste. Remove the lemons and bay leaf and toss, then serve your soup to some hungry folks. Add some fresh Parmesan as garnish. After eating this I craved some homemade bread to dip in the lemony chicken broth, so tomorrow I will bake a loaf before we eat our leftovers for lunch.

Health Nut Recipes

Happy New Year- I hope that everyone has had a great 2013 so far. Our home has been busy busy busy (it never seems to let up)! Christmas was amazing, got to spend the week in California with my parents and siblings- went to Disneyland with all of them, and Grayson had such a fun time. He is the most curious, happy child. He did not nap for more than 15 minutes while we were at Disneyland, and he wore a big smile the entire time (unless we were on a ride, then he was just awestruck).

So far 2013 has been great, work has been keeping me extra busy, but I am trying to find time to do things that I love and to keep myself grounded. One of these things is cooking. I love cooking, and I am a notorious health nut- we eat very healthy at our house. I have been a Relief Society teacher for a few months now, and a couple months back I taught a lesson on the word of wisdom, which ended up hinging around the principle that we should eat meat sparingly. After my lesson I had several sisters come up to me and explain how they desired to cook with less meat, but did not have any good recipes. At our home, when we eat meat, we cook with a very small amount (1 lb of ground beef or less, or 6 oz of chicken or less). It is more a garnishment than a key player. Several of my recipes are meatless all together, and as I was preparing today's dinner, which is meat free, I was reminded of this request from sisters in my ward, so I thought I would share some pictures and links to some of my favorite meatless recipes. These are tried and true, cheap and easy!

IN ORDER OF OUR FAVORITES:

1. Macaroni & Cheese recipe from the Deceptively Delicious cookbook

http://www.grandparents.com/food-and-leisure/recipes/recipes-macaroni-and-cheese-deceptively-delicious

If you have not heard of this cookbook, I recommend purchasing it. Not all of the recipes are vegetarian, but they all find ways of cramming extra veggies into comfort classics. When we do cook with meat at our home, I take a note from this author and find a creative way of adding additional nutrition into every bite. We utilize lots of red pepper, cauliflower and sweet potato purees at our home.

We often add non-pureed additions to this macaroni: peas, broccoli, tomatoes, basil, chili and brussel sprouts have been a few that we have tried, but macaroni makes such a great base for anything that you could really spice it up!

2. Tofu Coconut Curry

http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipe/tofu-coconut-curry/

This recipe is so easy, and tastes amazing. If you are a curry person, this dish is sure to delight. We cook quite a few ethnic recipes at our home, and this is a crowd pleaser. Feel free to mix it up with different veggies too, the more the better!

3. Black Bean Burgers

http://spoonforkbacon.com/2012/03/spicy-black-bean-burger/

We have tried a few variations of Black Bean Burger recipes, but this one is our favorite. We serve it on top of what buns with homemade guacamole. I have not tried the sprouts like it shows in the picture, but I am sure that would be delicious! We usually serve with a side of this rice:

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/04/fiesta-lime-rice.html

4. Cumin Lime Chickpeas

http://budgetbytes.blogspot.com/2011/12/cumin-lime-chickpeas-379-recipe-063.html

If you have never been to the blog budget bytes, I highly recommend it. I have loved every recipe of hers I have ever made, and she is very good about giving you a variety of foods that are cheap and easy to make, and showing you step by step in photographs how to make them. I have a link to her blog on the right side of the page. Check her out! This recipe takes about five minutes to make, and is so very healthy! We eat with salad or in a pita, or even plain as a side dish- it is packed with flavor!

5. Vegetarian Enchilada Bake

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Vegetarian-Enchilada-Bake

Once again, easy, affordable- I substitute canned items all of the time instead of frozen- just use what you have, and do not be afraid to deviate from the recipe. If you do not have any corn, try something else instead like green beans, or peas.

Happy Cooking, hope this helps some of you discover some new family favorites, from our home to yours!

Forever

Life is so fragile. The events of the last few months have really taught me this. I have watched some very good people leave this mortal realm far too early and unexpectedly. I think the most important thing I have gleaned from this is that family is my number one priority, and I am going to do everything I can to make sure that my loved ones know that they mean the world to me.  I would hate to regret an unkind word I had spoken, or to wish I had expressed more deeply or often my affection and gratitude to those around me. The thought of losing someone dear to me is unbearable, I cannot imagine how I would begin to deal with the grieving process if I thought that I would never see that person again. The one thing that gives me great comfort, particularly now as a mother who worries constantly about my little boy, is that this life is but a small glimmer in the eternities.

I do not preach very often, or at least I try not too. One of my many flaws is that I am scared of sharing my testimony with those who do not want to hear it, even though they may need it the very most. I wish I was more brave, and stronger, but I suppose that will come with more experience and more time. However, it would be selfish of me not to share my testimony on this principal, as I know there are so many around me who are struggling right now with loss, with heartache and with so many unanswered questions.

I know with every fiber of my being that families can be forever. Even more now as a mother I know this principal to be true. I have felt the smallest fragment of God's love in having a child, and it was overwhelming. I know that God lives, that his son Jesus Christ died for us. I would go to my grave testifying of these truths. Gods love is infinite and boundless, such a God would never break apart a family, that is why I know families are eternal. I know with my whole heart that Scott and I, if we work hard enough, can gain all of the blessings and gifts our Father in Heaven has to offer. I want so much for my son to stay strong in this church, I have witnessed personally the sadness and darkness that can fill a person's life, and the church is the way back into the light. It is the only true way to obtain lasting happiness. We live in a world where religion and family values are mocked at every turn, I myself once cringed at the idea of being "just a mother." But I love it, there is nothing better than being a mom, having this sweet little individual in my home, he is my everything, and I thank God everyday for the knowledge he has given me of eternal families, because if I were ever to lose this little boy, that would be the only principal that would keep me going. I witness to you that this is a true principal, it is as true and sure and real as the ground beneath our feet.

People will say this is a silly notion and that I am a silly person, there are so many in this world who ground all of their faith and humanity in laws of science and logic. It is so sad how great truths and beliefs get twisted, and how some of the smartest among us can be the most blind. It saddens me that so often religion and education seem to fight against each other like oil and water, when really they walk hand in hand.

I love this church, I know it is true, I promise that this is the everlasting gospel, that Jesus lives and loves each and every one of us. I know that families are forever, that this life is merely a test, a very hard and difficult test, but when we reach the other side and we are greeted with eternal happiness- these sour, twisted, horrible moments will fade away into the past, they will be a small pain compared to the joy and glory that await us. I cannot express how much I love this gospel, there are questions that I do not have answers for, there are things that I struggle with, but I cannot deny the testimony that I have been given, it is so strong and powerful that I cannot deny the existence of God, I cannot deny the existence of our Savior, and I cannot deny that the blessings and ordinances of the temple are real. They are very real. I hope if you do not have these same beliefs or knowledge of the truth that one day you can, because without them the world truly is not as bright or hopeful, most days it is the only thing that keeps me believing in good, in a hopeful and love filled future.

I love you so much my dear dear family, my dear friends- you are the only thing that matters in this life, every thing else is trivial. I try my best everyday to be the best mom, wife, sister, daughter, granddaughter, cousin and friend that I can be. I know I fall short in so many areas, and I hope you will all pardon me in this, I am trying my best, but my priorities have changed so so much in the last few months, and I hope that you can understand that what I do with my life and how I live my life is simply me trying my very best. I hope that when I take my last breath in this life I will feel like I did everything I could for those around me, that I leave with no regrets. I am trying my best to be that person, who never says an unkind word, or thinks an unkind thought. I am trying to live so that I give more than I receive, so that I love more than I am loved and so that I can touch more lives than have touched mine. I am working on being stronger, I am working on being braver and I promise you that I am doing so through this gospel.

Life is short, life is brief, there is so much beauty to be found, but you have to be in the right places and searching for the right things. Family is one of those beauties, and I am doing everything in my power to make sure that I have the best family in the world, one full of love and life and light- because I can promise you, Family is the only thing that lasts, and it is the only thing we get to take with us, but we do get to take it with us, and I thank God every day that families are forever.

Lazy Sunday;s

We love spending Sunday's with Scott's Family, here are some pictures from this Summer's dinners:

So many Milestones!

Grayson is growing up so fast!