Dreams...I have dreams....when I'm awake...when I'm asleep.

So ever since I can remember, whenever I had a dream about having a baby it always involved a little boy. I had another baby dream last night, and once again it was a boy. I distinctly remember checking and making sure that it was a boy. Also, often times this boy is a blonde, which with Scott's coloring as a childhood could be quite a possibility. For those of you who know me, and my girl dominated family, you will know that whenever I pictured myself having kids, I have always pictured girls, but my dreams are telling me otherwise.

Now, I know that I will be happy with whatever I get, and that is something that I will come to terms with, but a part of me can't get over the idea of not having a little girl. For one thing, I really just don't know what to do with little boys, I never really had to deal with them. For some reason my mind keeps wandering to scouts and I think, "I have no clue what goes on in scouts, how would I deal with this?!" I know, silly, but little things like that, I would feel extremely inadept to cope with.

On the other side, people always say, "Girls are so much harder." Whenever someone says this I always think of examples around me. I look at me and my sisters and compare them to Scott and his brothers and I just don't feel that there is that big of a difference, I think we all, as children, have caused our parents equal amounts of grief, but in the same breath, probably brought just as much joy. I don't think it much matters what sex your child is, it is all about your parenting technique, so whenever I hear this argument I always think "poo poo" in the back of my head (think of the Madeline books, I am not thinking about fecal matter, but am rather dismissing something  as irrelevant and unimportant).

I know that at some point I want some boys and some girls, so you may be thinking, who cares what the first one is, and I know that my thought process is somewhat irrational because of this, but deep down I just can't stop wishing that this is a girl, so I guess until we find out my dreams and my daydreams will both be thinking of contrasting genders. I promise I will love my baby no matter what, but I may have a few moments that resemble those of gloria from Modern Family:

http://www.hark.com/clips/qtgjfkndpb-manny-girl  (click for sound clip)
"For the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was a my daugher. I just did it a few times, I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him it was his twin sister who died."