Stretch Marks

She is here, my sweet baby girl made her arrival at 11:52 on Tuesday September 10th, 2013. She is perfect, she is more than I could have ever expected or wanted. She is so mild mannered so far, sleeping most of the day away. She took to eating like a champ, we have had very little issues with breastfeeding. I have to pump a TON, but that is pretty common for the first few weeks for most moms.

I noticed the stretch marks I was getting on the underside of my belly around 34 weeks. I did not get a single stretch mark with Grayson, so this was something new. Surprisingly, I didn't really care. Typically I am vain and this sort of thing would really bother me, but I just didn't care, and let me be clear, this wasn't just one tiny stretch mark, I have a whole colony of stretch marks that start at my belly button and work their way down, I would say there are about 10 in all, and some are almost 5 inches long. Now that my belly is starting to return to normal I can see what things are going to look like, and it is definitely different, but I don't find them ugly. I doubt I will be showing my belly off to the world any time soon, as I know that they are not something others would find appealing, but I am still proud of them in an odd way. It is a private thing, not something I will flaunt or showcase, but in a personal setting, I am okay admiring them and what they mean to me.

Each of those lines is a special little love mark for my children. I have the most perfect children in the world, period. I could not have been more blessed, or gotten more lucky, and if having a few little marks on my belly is the price I needed to pay, I feel that was more than a bargain. I cannot even express how much I love these two little kids, they mean the world to me. Being a mother is such a wonderful blessing, I feel so privileged to be able to be one.

The delivery went really well. I would say that labor is the easiest part of the entire pregnancy/motherhood experience. We went to the hospital just after Midnight on Tuesday. I was having contractions regularly but they weren't strong enough, so they started me on pitocin. They kept me because I had a lot of fluid, and I mean A LOT of fluid, so baby girl was just floating around and not engaging in the pelvis like she should have been. The scary thing about this is that because of this, there was a high risk that when my water broke, the cord would drop down below the baby, cutting off all of the vital, life-sustaining components it provides to the baby, which is a very bad thing. They didn't want to send me home and risk having this happen, so we took action, and the doctor made sure that this did not happen. It wasn't until they broke my water that I was really able to make any progress- the pitocin did nothing, ha ha. Let me just note too that I had heard SOOO many horror stories about pitocin and that it was SO AWFUL, but they had me on the highest level that was allowed, and that was before I had the epidural, and let me tell you- it was not that bad. I naturally have pretty strong and long contractions that pile one on top of the other though, at least that is what I had with Grayson, so perhaps that is why it wasn't so bad. From the time they broke my water to the time I was ready to push was about 2 hours. Baby girl was posterier just like her brother, so the nurse called Dr. Craig to see if she wanted to try to turn the baby. When the doctor arrived Lyla was already crowning, so we pushed. It took about 12 minutes and she was here- super super fast, and SO EASY. I mean seriously, it was not hard at all, I feel really lucky. I didn't tear like the first time, I didn't swell up like the last time- the second labor ROCKED. Recovery has been so so easy, the baby was healthy and did not have to go to the NICU, I mean seriously I cannot even tell you how lucky and blessed I feel.

I know that there are some women who generally have terrible labors, and everyone is different, but let this be my second testimonial that not all labors are bad. When you read the horror stories, read mine too, and know that you have just as good a chance of having this kind of labor as any other. Even with a posterior baby, which is supposed to be much more difficult, things were still a cake walk.

I now have two children, two perfect children. Grayson, who is so full of light and love. He is the most joyful and happy child- his giggle is the best noise in the world, and it is my background music for most of the day. He gives Lyla about 30 kisses during the day, he just wants to kiss and kiss and kiss her. He makes this little "mwah" noise every time he kisses her. It just melts my heart, he is going to be the best big brother. Only time will tell me what Lyla will be like, but so far she is just a chill little jelly bean, sleeping and sleeping the day away. She doesn't cry really, if she needs something it is more of a little yell, and so far that just means, "feed me!" She is so beautiful though, and she fits into our little family so perfectly, and I know she is going to be someone special.

There have been many times that Scott has asked me if I wish that I had done things differently in my life, if I wish I had gone on a mission, wish I had pursued a career in broadcast, if I am still happy I married him, etc. My answer is always the same. I would not change a single thing, not even the smallest details. I would not risk altering anything, because my life is more than I deserve now. Imagining a world without my two perfect children is unfathomable, and absolutely heart breaking. Everything in my life has led up to this moment, and I am so grateful that this is where I have ended up.

I love my little love marks, I am grateful for the sacrifices I have made to be where I am today, and there have been a lot. I have stretch marks both on my body and in my life, sacrifices that I have made to have these two perfect angels, but I do not reflect on these things with disdain. I am proud of them, and while the world may not think that my stretch marks are pretty, or that the sacrifices I have made as a young and intelligent female are worth the price of motherhood,  I can look at these little love marks, these acts and symbols of sacrifice, and feel nothing but satisfaction and pride.

Welcome to our family little Lyla, you perfect little 7 lb 8 oz, 20.5" package! You are more loved than you will ever know, more wanted than words could ever express, and I promise to do right by you, to be the best Mom that I can and know how to be.